The Parent's Perspective

By Tom and Chris Fouser

What do you say when your daughter tells you she is planning on going as a missionary to a country that you're not even sure which continent it is on?

Although we had known of Laura's interest in missions for several years, it still was a shock when she mentioned PARAGUAY and said she was planning to go there in just a few years.

"Is Paraguay in South America?" we asked.

"Yes, south of Brazil," she replied.

That was the first of many questions we asked:" Is it safe there?" "Who will you go with and what will you do?" "When will you come home?" "What is the medical and dental care like?"

Laura's grandfather challenged her, "Why do you have to go so far away? Can't you be a missionary in this country?" Laura graciously explained the ratio of Christian workers compared to the population of North America and the rest of the world. Grandpa was not convinced. "Let somebody else's granddaughter go so far away!" We're not sure he ever understood, but in time, he changed from resenting Laura's decision to bragging about her at any opportunity.

As her parents, we had many conflicting feelings: thrilled at her commitment to follow the Lord's leading but anxious about her safety in a Third-World country. Proud of her diligence in pursuing further biblical studies and learning a new language but sad we but sad we would miss her at holidays and family events.

We confess most of these thoughts were selfish, not concerned about what she was "giving up," but what we were. During the years of her internship, pre-field ministry and language study, God lessened our fears and we grew in faith and trust.

The following things helped us deal with Laura's absence:

• Visiting her when she was in language school in Texas. We stayed in her residence and met her friends. She was more content and at peace than she had been in years.
• Phoning her helped a lot. Hearing her voice and tales of her activities and new friends have reassured us.
• E-mail is a wonderful invention. We've kept in touch by sending everything from recipes to the antics of her nephews and occasionally scanned photos.
• Visiting Paraguay to see Laura in her new environment was a tremendous help both at the time and perhaps even more so later. Now we can visualize her apartment and other aspects of her life: cooking for friends, the view from the window; the activities at church. Travel is expensive, but we've been able to redeem frequent flyer miles accumulated by using an airline credit card and a long distance telephone carrier.
• Praying for Laura and her specific concerns is not only biblical, it also helps us feel a part of her life and ministry. We give her OUR prayer requests, too, and as we pray for each other, we grow closer in mind and heart, even though we are far apart.
• Becoming involved in her ministry, the less apart we feel. This year, Laura gave gifts to friends in Paraguay in honor of OUR birthdays. Then we followed that example by supplying "camperships" in honor of family members. Laura sent us the names of our sponsored kids to pray for.
• Trusting God to take care of our daughter is an on-going process. Laura reminded us, "I am safer in God's will, no matter where that is, than if I were out of His will, someplace else."
• Changing attitudes is a conscious choice, as we try to put aside our desires and remember a missionary has enough to deal with in leaving home. The least we parents can do is to send our children off with our blessings.

We don't minimize how hard it is for parents whose children live far away. But there are also blessings. God has loaned our children to us; when we give them back to Him, we give Him an offering. We thank God He has allowed us that privilege. Perhaps one day, when we walk the heavenly streets, someone will say, "Thank you for sending Laura to Paraguay. She introduced me to the Lord Jesus." It is a joy and honor to be parents of a missionary.

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