Skip Navigation

My Way of Escape

Shoko

I trusted in Jesus on December 4, 2002. Until then, I thought Jesus was only a hero in some long-ago folk tale. I didn’t know that He was just the hero I needed to pull me out of the pit. 

As a young adult, I lived a messed-up life, being crushed as I went from one problem to the next. During one emotional moment, I grabbed a New Testament and hastily looked for comfort. That’s when I stumbled upon I Corinthians 10:13:

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.”

I reasoned that the problems I had were lessons from God. Surely He would prepare a way out, I thought. From then on I remembered this verse, whenever I was going through difficult times.

Because I didn’t believe in Jesus and didn’t really understand the Bible, I was grateful for this verse, but I quickly turned back to the gods of the temples and the shrines of my ancestors. At my lowest point, I was involved in many distressing situations and had been lied to so many times that I was emotionally exhausted. Antidepressants and sleeping pills helped me get by. I had no dreams, no hope, and no light in my life. I couldn’t trust anyone and couldn’t even laugh anymore. One day I cried out, “I don’t want this struggle anymore! I don’t want the pain!” With that, I decided there was no better time than on my birthday, July 15, 2002, to commit suicide.

Not long after making this decision, Mr. and Mrs. Aida came to my real estate office. They told me that through ABWE missionary Natalie Beck they had heard about my office and were seeking a cheap apartment for a man named Mr. Tago. (I first met Natalie when I showed her the house she lives in now. Back in April, there was an unusual outbreak of cockroaches and a host of them raided Natalie’s home. I hired an exterminator and went to her home to check up on the progress, and while I was there we talked quite a bit and became friends.)

I had been turning away new customers because I planned on ending my life. But since Natalie referred Mr. Aida to me, I agreed to help. Mr. Tago would not arrive until August, so I decided to put off ending my life on my birthday. August came, and it didn’t take long to find an apartment for Mr. Tago. The day we completed his contract was to be the last day of my career. I canceled my cell phone, got rid of everything around me, and prepared my suicide letter.

The day came, and with everything all set, I sat in the middle of my room, quieted my heart, and closed my eyes. Then, suddenly, the doorbell rang, and a boy’s familiar voice cried out, “Sister!” I opened the door and found my friend’s son. “What’s wrong?” I asked. “Mom had to leave for the day, and she told me to buy something to eat, so I also bought something for you.”

Natalie and Shoko

Hastily, he handed me a package of sushi, then ran away. I was overjoyed that he would do something like this for me, but then I thought, “What if I die leaving this behind? He would think I didn’t want it.” It was then that I realized I was running away from reality. I remembered I Corinthians 10:13 and was overwhelmed with all that I had prepared to do. With tears flowing, I ate the sushi—the best I have ever tasted. Without the love of a little boy and I Corinthians 10:13 seared in my memory, I surely would have been dead.

I kept in touch with Natalie and she invited me to a My Kai (singles meeting).

When I attended the meeting in October, I was nervous about meeting Christians, but their love and welcome made a big impression upon me. I was amazed when missionary Sue Hahn quoted I Corinthians 10:13 and said, “We all experience troubles and tribulations in our lives. But this Bible is for us when we have troubles and we don’t know what to do. If we read it, God can lead us in the right direction.” Later, Natalie asked me if I wanted to be part of a Bible study. I cringed at first, but since I was constantly looking for new insights to my problems, I thought a Bible study might actually be a positive thing in my life.

Throughout the study, Natalie explained that I am a sinner and that Jesus gave His life for me. She asked me if I wanted to believe. It took awhile, but I finally answered, “Yes, I believe,” and an unusual peace swept over me and made my heart at rest. I prayed to God with Natalie, and He forgave my sins and made me His child.

As I thought about all my sins being forgiven, I was overjoyed! I felt like a puppet whose strings were finally cut. I kept asking Natalie, “Are you sure my sins are forgiven?” She would answer, “All of your sins are forgiven and today is your new birthday.”

Even when I chose death, God was working through my friends to save me. Had Mr. and Mrs. Aida not come to my office, had they not mentioned Natalie’s name, had Mr. Tago come a day later—if even one of these events had happened differently—I believe I would be dead today. Had Natalie’s house been free of cockroaches, we would have not become friends. And I would not have studied the Bible or been introduced to Christ.

From the bottom of my heart, I’m thankful that He provided my way of escape.